Intention, From Now On

I’ve taken one whole year off from this blog, one year of writing instead in a personal journal that lies bedside. Not because I didn’t want to share any more, but I was replacing my daily routines and the way I knew them with more intentional living. When Covid shook our world in 2020, our lives changed. It forced us not only to slow down, but to almost completely stop. To be honest, this terrified me. I love a busy schedule. I get anxious if I’m in one spot too long. I had so many goals I needed to reach and I had plans to execute them. So the thought of sitting and giving it all up was not good. These thoughts came without warning and felt almost as a force for change, causing me to recognize I was craving a more intentional life. Here I was, 31 years old and I'd done everything I wanted to do in my life. But I had done everything with such a hurried mindset, I never paused to enjoy these special moments in time before I was forcing the next. I began to understand, I was living too fast and it was stealing the joy each day had to offer .

I found myself sitting at home with nothing but time and I recognized I needed to find a better balance in my life. I decided I was not just going to survive each day but rather live each with intention. Forcing myself to be present in each moment, big or small. It’s like a muscle I’ve learned to work and when you train yourself to look at life through a different lens, something dramatic happens. I started to see purpose in each day. I enjoyed the simplest of things like cooking homemade dinners for my family each night with a candle burning and singing along to a playlist of my favorite songs. Planting a garden and watched the sunset each night behind it. Stopping by a neighbors house just to listen to stories of the past, retold time and time again. Handwriting letters to those that have impacted me in any way instead of texting. Rocking on the back porch with Dylan and letting ourselves drift into deep conversations. Setting aside intentional time with each of my kids and letting them know how special it is to me. I got more intentional in my relationship with God. I am still working through some painful growth within myself but I’m experiencing a transformation. I’m focusing on becoming all that God has intended for me and letting go of who I thought I was. I’m finding what brings me peace today and what excites me for the future

Perhaps the beauty of living a more intentional life is that it carries us forward. Recognizing the moments you will never forget instead of living with tunnel vision. Finding a clarity that accompanies the kind of life we create from here on out. And maybe it took me awhile to get here, but I know I see my future differently now, a future with purpose and fulfillment. My hope is that you too, will seek out the same.